BOTICA Tania

BOTICA (Tania):

In memory of Mrs Tania Botica. The Anniversary date of your passing is fast approaching and are echoed in the words of the poems I found that reflect what I experienced and what I have learnt.

As Mum would say, 'Keep Going, Keep Growing'.

BOTICA (Tania):

Hey Mum, it's my first birthday without you here. I woke up this morning missing you badly.

I wish that I could have a wonderful hug from you. See your bright eyes and beautiful smile. And hear your warm voice and lovely birthday wishes.

I have in my memories a lifetime of birthdays with you. I only wished that they could've continued another lifetime.

I am listening to you and your firm advice. Putting it all in to practice. At the minute I'm unsure in how to go forward with this new change in my life. I'm scared of failure and I'm exhausted by these toxic thoughts running in my brain. Kiss these fears away Mum like you did when I was a kid. I really need it know.

Missing you so much. Thank you for birthing me, thank you for teaching me the ways of the heart and thank you for always believing in my worth.

Love you to the moon and back....

❤❤

Your daughter always and forever

Rosalie Joanne Botica

BOTICA (Tania):

Hey Mum

Remember this time last year we were all together at AJAR . We had a gourmet dinner and drank wine and champagne. We were all so very happy. Laughing with tears in falling down our faces, our sides aching from the laughter.

Oh Mum, what I would give to have you here with me.

Your love is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thought at the end of my day.

I miss your hugs, the smell of your perfume, your straight talk, your hair, your strength, Your art, your love of music.

I miss having you here to talk with me in Croatian. Who will I talk to now?

I will become the woman you always believed me to be.

I am your daughter, your best friend and I will make you so proud Mum.

Keep visiting me. Drop me a hint and let me know if I am heading in the right direction.

I love you Mum.

To the moon and back forever and always.

❤❤❤

BOTICA (Tania):

Mum,

I've struggled to grieve the unbearable loss.

I have pushed the pain of losing you into the a deep and far away place.

I find comfort when the wind blows.

I imagine that you are gently hugging me.

As I close my eyes your grip tightens around me and I feel you once again.

Mum you will forever be near me and I will never forget the love and support that you tried so hard for me to see and believe.

My one regret is that I had to take time away from you so that I could heal.

You were never to be blamed for my absence, my heart had been so broken and bruised.

I can now see all the light and beauty that we shared in all of it's purity and bliss.

I am no longer blinded by pain I am on the road to recovery and greatness.

We were on that journey together but now I have to complete the journey on my own.

Love you Mum always and forever ❤️

BOTICA (Tania):

Everybody has a story to tell, but what this story shows is a pure example of an individual's true determination or grit and resilience to characterise their life on their own terms rather than let their life's challenges define them; by choosing love and to keep going, keep growing regardless of life's obstacles. Mum, it has been nearly four months since your passing and I feel it's now time to share your story.

Tania Botica was born in Racisce on Korcula Island just when her country formerly known as Yugoslavia was starting to recover from World War II.

To make things more challenging, Tania along with her other siblings were removed from her mother Zlata (or otherwise named as Goldie); as she was unable to provide her children appropriate care and support.

Mums' father abandoned her at birth and although she was told by her Mum he was dead, she found out in her mid-thirties he was in fact alive. For some unknown reason on the day of his death Mum felt compelled to repeatedly play a Croatian song about a son believing he had seen his dead father alive walking around the streets, but he was actually alive too, just like Mum's; how did she know? Why did she choose to listen to this song on this day?

I am unsure of the exactly when Mum was placed in the orphanage but I do recall hearing the number six and it either being at six days or six weeks of age. The orphanage was managed by the government and located in Split which was on the mainland.

I remember the way Mum described her home as being cared for by lovely women which she would accidentally call 'Mum' and she would describe the other children as 'brothers and sisters who rarely fought with each other, but always had time to explore their surroundings.' The orphanage was located just across the road from the Adriatic Ocean and after school she would jump straight into the ocean on a summer's day. She said she would spend all day in the ocean during the weekends, like a dolphin and her sinuses would be flushed clean. My initial response to her stories about the orphanage were of disbelief and phrased with 'Yeah sure, you lived right across the road from the ocean.' This was later proven to be true when several decades later Mum and I searched for her orphanage on Google Earth and luckily enough the building remained, it was right across the road from the sea.

She also told stories when she and the other children would roam the local farms and eat as much fruit from the trees, and she still recalled the taste of the apricots, plums, peaches and nectarines as if she had just had a mouthful.

Although her time in the orphanage was positive, they too allowed Mum to have some contact initially with her Mum and her family; she recalls her grandmother Kata as a woman who was very intelligent and said 'anything her eyes could see, she could do' and she learnt a lot from her grandmother. She too loved the animals on the family farm and told me stories of riding horses bareback and having a good friendship with the family dog.

She kept surviving, forgiving, hoping for love and creating her future.

At 16 Mum and her brother arrived in Australia by plane via Rome to Perth. Her airfare was paid by her sister and her sister's husband. The immigration papers show she and her brother were recorded as husband and wife rather than siblings because of Mum's age; otherwise she would not have gained entry into Australia. She frequently told the story when she arrived in Perth, her sister and Mum took her to a Fish Shop in Fremantle and they ordered some fish and chips to celebrate her arrival, but back then they used dripping rather than oil and Mum said she could not eat it because of the smell of the dripping, she just recalled the really foul smell, but those were the days.

Mum lived with her Mum and her new husband firstly in the immigrant hostel on Aberdeen Street, Northbridge and then moved to Randall Street in North Perth. Mum worked as a waitress and later Peters Ice Cream Factory. Her mother made it very clear she had to work to remain living with them or was told to get married. I'm not sure if Mum explored anything else she wanted to do, or what her hopes and dreams for herself may have been at this time. I am just thinking, given her childhood experiences with her mother she may have felt obligated to obey her mother's orders. I feel in later discussions with Mum, she did things for her mother and with her mother in the hope she would receive unconditional love from her and recognition.

Three years after arriving in Australia she married Ivan Botica. Mum described it as an arranged marriage as organised by her Mum, but she also in time fell in love with Dad. In her marriage to Dad, Mum was the quiet supporter, the humble advisor, like a coach encouraging Dad to take more risks. Mum and Dad at the best of times worked well as a partnership in business and in family life and at other times they had their differences. It seems again Mum's attempt at finding a perfect balance between love and happiness and pain and sorrow in her life could not be realised.

Mum finally experienced the joy of unconditional love with her three beautiful girls, Rosie, Goldie and Me. She relished her role as mother and this gave her much joy and happiness.

In the later years of her life, Mums pursuit of happiness continued and manifested in her willingness to explore her hobbies and interests like painting, working with ceramics, screen printing and experimenting with the written word. She even completed an Art's TAFE course. She immersed herself in the arts, theatre, music, and even classical music which fuelled her enduring passion of gardening to create natural works of art.

She tried new recipes from different cultures and was driven to live a healthy, active life. A new light shone from her and her belief in herself was actualised.

Yes, Tania you have come a long way from Croatia and yes I listened and witnessed your transformation. I will be strong and I won't give up; just as you wished for me.

BOTICA (Tania):

Mum's favourite flowers in her favourite colours, different shades of pink of course!

BOTICA (Tania):

Hey Mum,

I walked 8 kms today and jogged for two kms. I know I'm taking it easy, but 5kms just doesn't do it for me anymore.

I've been walking about 10 kms 4 days a week. I'm looking after my health. I've managed to lose some weight too.

But I still miss you heaps.

Till next we meet.

Love you always

Rosie xx

BOTICA (Tania):

Hey Mum,

It's been awhile since we last spoke. I was wanting to tell you some of my juicy gossip, then I remembered that you aren't here anymore.

My heart still hurts me with each breath, with each memory that comes, with each song I hear, with each old time movie, with EVERY SINGLE BEAT OF MY HEART it aches for your warm hugs, your beautiful smile. Just everything.

I love this photo of You and I together at Nannup Tulip Festival. I'll go back there and stand by that very same tree and smile and think of you with love.

Miss you so much. Til we talk and cook again ...

Your daughter Rosie xx

BOTICA (Tania):

Radiance is great happiness which shows in someone's face.

Other words: warmth, brilliance, effulgence, glare, gleam, glitter, glow, incandescence, light, luminosity, luster, resplendence, shine, delight, gaiety, joy, pleasure, rapture.

Radiance is something that comes from the inside. It is not about having the perfect face. It's not about having the perfect body and image. It's far more beautiful and awe inspiring than the beauty that we chase outside side of ourselves. It's the light our heart shines.

BOTICA (Tania):

Mum always said, ‘Let your inner light shine and let it guide you on your way. Your inner light comes from knowing yourself, accepting your strengths and weaknesses, but loving yourself anyway. Doing this keeps you safe, happy and strong.’

BOTICA (Tania):

The everyday moments are the ones missed most.

BOTICA (Tania):

Mum in her zone, painting yet another masterpiece.

BOTICA (Tania):

Our deepest condolences to Rosie, Goldey and Anita on the loss of your dear mother and my cousin. Rest in peace dear Tatjana

BOTICA (Tania):

My dearest mother, Tania Botica who was my spiritual and life mentor and best friend.

I thank you Mum for sharing your life with me and imparting your life's wisdom mostly repeatedly to me over and over again ensuring your learnings were transferred down to me. Your patience with me was although tested at times but was mostly unwavering.

I have grown from your many hours of counsel and guidance when I was confronted with my perceived insurmountable life's obstacles. She managed to help me cut my problems down to size. I will be mindful to not make mountains out of molehills and take more risks Mum.

I will greatly miss not calling you over the phone or talking to you while seated around the kitchen table seeking your support and valuable advice encouraging me to push on. I promise Mum I will now harness my fortitude even more from this point and beyond.

Your belief in me kept my faith, which nurtured and reinforced my belief in myself. What a champion you are!

The simple pleasures in life gave Mum the most joy and happiness rather than any extravagant gesture or gift. Being together with family, friends and neighbours was more nourishing for her.

For example I enjoyed sharing my time with you Mum; such as going for our walks around the Denmark River, our visits to Walpole, our picnics at Cosy Corner, our drives around McLeod's Road and Scotsdale Road, our time walking together at Green's Pool, sharing our quirky Christmas traditions, us singing and dancing together and sharing our lunches on the front verandah, cooking meals together such as making fritula and taking photos of our favourites, trialing new recipes together and just being together. Mum I loved and cherished every single moment.

Mum was understated and avoided the spotlight but had an innate ability with her quiet and caring ways to unite us all together.

Mum you did try your best everyday, even until the end. You are an amazingly strong woman. You did not disappoint me but were an enduring source of love and strength. Your creative and generous soul will live on. I am proud of you too!

Lots of love from your daughter Anita Botica.

BOTICA (TATJANA)

Our deepest sympathy to Rosie, Goldie and Anita on the sudden loss of your Mum, who will always be in our memories. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Lots of love, from your cousins Albert, Dijana and family. Rest in peace Teta Tatjana.

BOTICA (TANIA)

In loving memory of our cousin. Deepest sympathy to all the family.

Tade, Violet and family. Rest in peace Tania.

BOTICA TANIA Deepest Sympathy to Rosalie, Goldie and Anita on the passing of your mum. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Aunty Ariete and family